I seem strangely capable of wholeheartedly believing contradictory statements at the same time.
"There is no way that I will ever get through this"
"I completely trust that God will help me through this"
For someone who usually likes things to be logical, this internal paradox is particularly confusing. Whilst I am not doubting the power of God, I just seem unable of truly applying it to my own situation.
I trust God. I say that with all my heart. So, why do I feel like I will never come out the other side of this darkness?
I find myself thinking "maybe this is the life I am supposed to live forever" or "maybe things are not supposed to get any better".
I fully believe that God would not give someone more than he knew they could handle. But, believing that leaves me perplexed. Maybe God overestimated my strength because I don't think I can handle the things that he has given me, I am not convinced that I am strong enough.
My faith in Jesus has got me through some of my toughest moments and without him in my life I honestly do not know if I would be here to write this today. I suppose that is the heart of it. I may not always believe that God will get me through but deep down I always trust in that fact.
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